Curious what Twins promotions you can attend this season? Here’s the list. Frankly, little of this sounds interesting. Except a Twins nightlight on July 23. Everybody gets one upon leaving, too, not just the first 10000 fans who leave! Which, if the Twins keep having players get injured, might be by the sixth inning.
There’s a Jhoan Duran bobblehead he might still be injured for, and a Royce Lewis hat he might still be injured for. There’s also both a Pride Day T-shirt and a Harry Potter Night; fortunately, this is not a doubleheader.
They’ll be doing Bark At The Park, which is cool. But you need a separate ticket for your dog, which isn’t cool. The dog+human tickets will set you back $76. Eh, they’re sold out anyways. You don’t want to be around rich dog owners, they’re the worst.
The Saints have TWO dog nights, though, they aren’t sold out, and the dogs get in for free. Plus, they have one extra “anything on a leash” game, which does raise questions. Would, say, leashed cats and leashed rabbits be a good mix? Also, if I’m wearing a studded leather collar and Mrs. James has me on a leash, can I get in free? I promise to be Obedient.
The Twins will also be having their usual rollout of new food/drink items, which also sound pretty boring. There’s a Hmong sausage, and a baked potato, those might be OK. (But why is the baked potato “smashed”?) I can live without ever meeting anyone who buys tickets for “The Dock,” a new “premier seating” location with “lakeside-themed food” and “Captains Chairs.” And this new cookie looks like a poop.
Twins AA pitcher Travis Adams SAVED A GUY FROM A BURNING BUILDING. Just some random neighbor he didn’t know, in Ft. Myers. Like, he forced the door open and dragged the guy out. The one time my landlord’s house was on fire, I banged on the door, woke up the landlord, and fled. Sadly, the landlord lived. (Then they wanted to "talk about it," so I fled another 2000 miles to here.)
The Athletic's Dan Hayes has a really neat story about Kris Atteberry's long path to becoming the #1 radio guy. If you read one article from today’s linkdump, make it this one. (Most The Athletic articles are free to read if you register an email/password.)
If you missed it, Do-Hyoung Park did a piece on how Twins reliever Jay Jackson got to enjoy Opening Day on an active MLB roster for the first time since he was drafted in 2008. And Park talked to Chan-Ho Park (no relation, duh!) about throwing the first pitch for MLB’s season opener in Seoul.
I dunno why I never looked at it before, but Park’s website says he majored in chemical engineering and computer science. So, maybe that’s why his articles are less jock-worshippy than most. We salute you, fellow nerd!
Royals fans (well, Jackson County, MO) voted Tuesday on whether or not to extend a sales tax that’s been paying for MLB/NFL stadium renovations since forever. The teams outspent anti-stadium-tax groups by 30-1 on the campaign. And the teams lost, 58%-42%. (Usually, teams win these votes.)
Why’d the teams lose? Neil deMause lists several reasons. Among them is everyone hates John Sherman, and exactly how the money would be spent was unclear (it’s quite possible the teams would have asked for more money on top of the sales tax).
For me, were I a voter there, the key point would be how the Royals claim their stadium has irreparable concrete rot, but nobody claims that for Arrowhead Stadium (which sells out every game). Yet they were built AT THE SAME TIME by THE SAME ARCHITECTS, some of whom would go on to form the mega-company Populous… which is the company claiming that Kauffman Stadium is falling down (and would get the money to build a new stadium).
Naturally, our friends at Royals Review have their own opinions. And Matthew LeMar recently reminded us that there’s no such thing as a “good” owner. Every owner in pro sports would happily demand a bazillion grillion dollars of public money for their team, and if that money comes straight from funding schools or hospitals, they don’t care. It’s the job of voters to tell them “offer rejected, come up with a better plan.” LeMar talked to economist J.C. Bradley, who is quite the expert on how these shenanigans work.
Oh, and Oakland’s owner didn’t like the city asking for rent while they play in the Colesium, even though there’s nowhere near enough funding for a Vegas stadium yet. Or any way to possibly make it fit in the proposed location. So now they might play next year in... Sacramento, I guess??? That's likely, not 100% settled, it too faces Issues. Whatever happens, this overview of the A's glory days/current woes by Andrew Means is very good.
Forbes released its annual valuations (educated guesses) of MLB team finances. They say the Twins made a profit of $19M last year. That’s at the lower end, yet still more than the World Series champion Rangers ($12M), or the Mets, who somehow lost $292M. Other AL Central teams? Chicago made $61M, Detroit $17M, Cleveland and the Royals $52M each. The Rockies supposedly lost $17M, but they'll be offering their own blackout-less streaming and good God I am tired of this local TV rights crapola.
Of course, the big baseball story everyone’s concerned about is Was Ohtani Betting? Probably not, possibly yes, and even if he wasn’t, he might have accidentally broken a few laws. Craig Calcaterra does the best overview I’ve seen of what a mess this all is. Demetrius Bell at the mothership wonders if MLB is realizing that sports gambling is problematic. Short answer: Manfred doesn’t care.
Some gambling website is promoting a thing called “How Big Is Your Wiener,” where one fan will get paid trips to every MLB ballpark and review the size/price of their hot dogs. This would actually be cool if someone else was sponsoring it.
What had been Deadspin was mostly gutted several years ago (with all the staff quitting, and many going on to form the successful Defector site). Now, even the newer, lesser-paid writers (like Sam Fels, who is pretty good) have been axed. It’ll be just a gambling referral site, now. That’s probably going to end up the fate of all sports writing, really.
Not gambling per se, but NCAA coaches/schools are swindling players for tons of money. Surprise, surprise.
Hate the new baseball unis? They’re not the only bad ones! Adidas recently redesigned the German national soccer team’s uniform, and they screwed up. The number “44” looks A LOT like the Nazis’ SS insignia. So, fans won’t be allowed to buy customized #44 jerseys. Although maybe Trevor Bauer already has one, I dunno.
It looks like the A-Rod deal to buy the Timberwolves has fallen through. Possibly because he just didn’t have the money, or possibly because owner Glen Taylor has more and is welching on the deal to get a better asking price, now that the team is actually good.
But, the Timberwolves being the Timberwolves, one of their former employees is likely headed to jail. The guy allegedly stole a hard drive and tons of personal information from a team executive. Why not just copy the files on a flash drive when nobody was around? If he hadn’t stolen the actual hard drive, it's possible nobody would have known. But, that’s our Wolves! (Or, Taylor’s Wolves.)
Finally, with the Dodgers coming to town next week, let’s note an old-fashioned beef between new Dodger Miguel Rojas and young Marlins star Jazz Chisholm. Why are they mad? I honestly don’t care, so you can read about it here if you want to. I just like sports feuds, the sillier, the better. Long live Jerry Lawler, folks, and I’ll catch you next Friday for the Twins/Tigers game!
